Friday, July 13, 2007

Smenita on Trater Friends

My friend Rosita is a trater. I'm so mad I think I'm gonna explode. My head feels like a balloon.

Remember I tole you that my boyfriend took off on me with some bitch-hore-slut in his truck and he took my radio too what I got from radio shack? Well, it's even worse than that.

Rosita calls me last night and to talk about this soccer player she saw on the street. She say, "Yeah, he's playing in the Under-20 tournament for Uruguay, and he's all sad cause the USA beat his ass out of the tournament". I'm like, "Sure, but is he hott?" She say, "Oh, he's hott and then some." Then she say, "Oh, like, by the way, I'm now seeing Johnny and me and him are moving in together!"

I'm like, "Oh no you di-int just say that to me!"

WHAT THE FUCK! She stole my boyfriend but she has to tell me like that!

I go, "Girl, you are such a fuckin trater. You supposed to be my friend, now you steel my man! What the fuck is wrong witch you?"

She say, "Oh Smenita. I sooo sorry. I di-int mean for this to happen. It just happened by isself."

I go, "Oh, so it just 'happened' that you accidentally lift up your skirt, and accidentally pull down your panties, and then, by accident, you sit on his face!!!"

WTF!!!

She say, "I can't help it. I think I'm in love. When I see him, I feel bubbles in my heart, you know?"

Bubbles in her heart!!!

I say, "Girl, the next bubbles you gonna see is the ones that come out of your mouth when I hold your head down in the toilet. They gonna be the last fuckin bubbles to come out your filthy mouth too, you bitch-hore-slut!"

I know, babies, it's not nice to see Smenita like this, but I say that trater friends are no friends at all. Rosita di-int have to do this to me. She could have avoided the "bubbles" by staying the fuck away from my boyfriend.

Smenita is angry.

Smenita will have her day.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Smenita on Honest Ed

I can't believe Honest Ed is dead. He was one of my heros because he used to give me a turkey every year. Now I don't know where I'll get my turkey. Plus, I always shop at Honest Ed's because stuff is high quality and it's for the birds - cheap cheap cheap! Ha ha ha.

I will miss Ed's shiny face and his brite smile. He was one of the nicest men ever in Toronto and many people, like my friends and my family, will miss him. Even though I never actually met him, I feel like I knew him and even though in a few days he'll be a skelittin and his face will be all mushed, I'll always remember him as a nice man.

I know he will be in Heaven. That will be nice for him because he won't have to do any work or sell anything. Yup, he's gone up to the bargain basement in the sky, and now he can sit back and drink free pop and eat free hot dogs for ever. Plus, I know that the lights on the Honest Ed store can be seen from outer space so I'm sure you can see them from Heaven.

We love you Ed!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Guess Who's Back! I'll Tell You... it's ME... Smenita!

Guess whos back!
Back agin!
Smenita's back!
Tell your friends!

Yes, babies, I'm back. I was away for a longtime because I got de-pressed because of all the shit that happens to me all the time that never happens to my sister Olivanita.

She always gets the sunshine on her self but it never shines on me. My boyfriend took off on me with his truck and some bitch-hore-slut, and he even took my radio what I got from radio shack. He's a stupid fucker and I'm going to cut his dick off and feed it to his bitch if I find him and her.

I probly won't find him cause he's a slimy bastard fuck who hides in places I won't go... like the nudie bars.

But I decidded to come back to you babies, because I missed you oh sooo much. Lots of people think I'm a "word verification" thingy. I know, cause I get a lot of hate male in my e-male and they say they hate me for making them have to use the word verification.

I think they should verify their own fuckin words, retards.

Olivanita never gets hate-male. She's not a word verification though, so probly she's jalous ha ha ha.

Anyway, if you babies want to talk, just send Smenita a message. I miss you like I said...